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Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Happy Birthday to Selwyn

It's really sad to find one of the most(if not the most) jovial personalities get bed-ridden by a terrible virus. Encephalomyelitis was the diagnosis. We visited him on Sat, his birthday. That fact was really frustrating for all of us and hardly tolerable. One of my fren couldn't hold back her tears. I wasn't really close to these bunch but I never minded hanging out with them as I was pretty anti-social in my poly days and knowing this bunch have truly livened up my poly experience. Nelson and Selwyn. OR Nel & Sel for short. The best buddies and partners in crime. They were so whacky! I really liked their liveliness and ability to not be embaressed when fooling around and just plain making fools of themselves(it's a good thing). They made our lives so much more worthwhile.

I remember telling him that his great ability to contort his face in an endless waltz of human emotions would give him a lead if he wanted to be an actor.

He even talked aside to me asking me how to get an acting job after i told him that. I don't really remember that conversation well. But he surprised me by asking me that as he must have tot I knew some "lobangs". Which I didn't.

There he still lies fighting that virus. I hope he gets well. Such a lively character shouldn't be treated this way...

Stuff like these really saddens me but I'm numb in a way in that sense that my tears don't flow anymore. I feel a heavy burden whenever such situations occur. Unfortunate happenings that shouldn't result. I personally wana take all that unto my shoulders but I don't wana make any actual declarations or promises. Cos the burden of that promise itself can b self-defeating. SO that only thing i'll promise is tat I'll work according to priorities and do them properly.

I'll need to take care of myself if i wana take care of others.
I'll need to b successful if i wana help others
I'll need to strong to carry others
I'll need to b credible to myself if i wana b incredible
I'll need to love myself to love others.

Thus in the short term, i'll appear very selfish but the longer term goal must b achieved.
I mite not b successful but at least I'll die trying.

I'll think of my family, frens and then last but definitely not the least, God
whenever i'm low and to set myself back on track.
Being selfish in order to be selfless.
Thus I mite have to sacrifice some things...