Sunday, May 29, 2005
how do i do that?
reflect on yourself...
(cliched... let me quote Mencius)
"If I love others,
and yet others are unfriendly towards me;
Then I should examine myself to see if there is
anything specious in my benevolence
If I rule others ,
and yet others are unruly;
Then I should examine myself to see if there is
any deficiency in my own ability.
If I am courteous to others,
and yet others do not return my courtesy
Then I should examine myself to see if there is
in me a lack of respect for others.
If what I do
cannot produce the response I expect,
Then I should turn inward
to search my heart and examine myself
Only when my own heart is upright,
Will everyone under Heaven spontaneously respond to me.
The Odes says, "If you always remember to act in
harmony with the Way of Heaven,
You will bring upon yourself
perfect bliss."
In interactions, you cannot just focus on what you expect from others;
you must also look at yourself to ensure that you have done
all you can to be upright."
Other quotes
"Just do it"
"Do, not try, there is no try"
Point of the blog:Being proactive, and not reactivefirst thing i did when i came in my room
arrange my desk abit...
baby steps
not the overhaul
what a revelation
a conversation with an old friend can do...
i must do the things i must do
in spite of the fact people don't like it
feelings are disregarded in professionalism
when you're workin.
DO NOT mix them. A job has to be done it has to be done.
People can get angry/hurt/annoyed/irritated
they mite not take your good intentions well
do it anyway. Don't do things that will please ppl.
Tactfulness is not honest if it's not used honestly and as a means to avoid trouble. Being Mr-Nice-Person by saying everybody's right when you listen to them is being hypocritical.
For my work in army: I must brief the GC n G2IC properly every morning and tell them that their job is to do certain things, not total welfare of the guards.
For the personal spiritual development: Refer to the Bible when doing things. Are these feelings and actions i'm experiencing in line with God's teachings? Would God condone such an action or feeling? (mind you a feeling/thinking is also an action, you can't say you've not sinned when you've not acted upon it) How could i be more in line? If a person behaves in a certain way, before i tell him/her off and say they are wrong, i'll first listen earnestly. They may be portraying their views in a way that is driven by emotions. By listening to him/her, people'll be more likely to be calm and responsive and might even admit they're wrong in the first place so that my initial reaction to debate has become irrelevant. What does it got to do with feelings and actions? At the end of the day, i want a peaceful resolution, i'll not get it if i react according to my inition reaction/emotion if i immediately put my point of view across and say that person is wrong. It will only bruise that person's ego more and thus create a higher wall to overcome which is the person's stubborness to his/her point that everybody knows is not right. although at all times we must think what are issues that don't need debate don't have to be debated. What's wrong is wrong. No questions asked.
in my personal life: work towards the goal of my ideal lifestyle from the inside-out. (i'll tell you what it is about if i achieve it cos no point talking about it and not achieving it)
Now, on the actual point of
Reactiveness VS Proactiveness
I've described one situation on how it works like think and listen before speaking and you might not have to speak at all.
but plainly it's more like this (in exagerrated overtones 2 affirm the moral of the story)
Reactiveness: Why is he/she saying hurting me with such words? I don't like it, HE/SHE makes me mad. HE/SHE controls my moods. HE/SHE has more control over my emotions and feelings. My reaction is valid cos HE/SHE hurt me, I MUST HURT THEM BACK! You stab me i stab you. That's how the world works. Don't blame me. Blame people who have behaved in such a way before me and thus brought about my present behaviour and subsequent reaction. My actions are justified because Isaac Newton says, every action will have an opposite or equal reaction. Therefore i only have 2 options: Do something to him/her, or not do something to him/her. One must be confident and assertive to pursue one's rights! I choose, DO SOMETHING TO HIM/HER! shit! now that i feel hurt. I should get wasted! drink til cows can fly! sleep with every tom dick and harry! do all the "cool" things to get my mind off issues! waste my money! do all that i don't need to do but wana do! disgrace my parents!
Proactiveness: I admit it is hurtful(self-honesty). But why is he/she saying this?(self-reflection) Are such opinions valid? If their accusations are right, how can I change?(willingness to change and listen) Maybe i shal l ask them. My actions are made with principles in mind (or, since i'm catholic, with God in mind), principles like honesty, strength of character, dilligence, intergrity, dignity, respect, loyalty, hope, faith and ultimately LOVE. (i think i should leave out God and his main principle of love from henceforth if not people will grow tired of preachiness) My actions are INDEPENDANT of other people's opinions. In other words, i don't have to feel good because i was praised. I don't have to be angry cos i was being scolded. I don't have to be hopeless cos shit happened to me. If a girl i like ditches me, so wat? Move along. Shit will happen so why let it bother you? I'm self-motivated. I'm the captain of my mind and heart. I'm an independant spirit who's actions are driven from within, not without.
The battle one faces in life is not with the Devil, or with others.
But from within ourselves.
WE are our own greatest enemy.
HABIT is both our greatest tool and our worst.
get in the habit
Sow a thought reap a.... blah blah blah...
i noe you noe the rest
Signing off
HopefulRenegabe
